The new guy is really pissing me off.
Where should I start? That he gets fed every two hours and I only
get something once a day? And the stuff they feed him smells so
good. Meat, thats what hes getting. Its not
completely meat, and its wet like water, but you cant fool me.
Sometimes I get meat, but its maybe a mouthful, and I dont even
taste it its gone so fast.
Rides. Thats another one that really fries my hide. They
always take him for a ride. Ive never seen them leave him alone
in the house. I know when theyre leaving. I try to show
just how excited I am, and what it would mean to me to go, but it
doesnt seem to matter. I sit at the window and watch as they
drive away. I sit at the window until them come back. I let them
know that I missed them, that it would have been really nice if I had gone
too. Sometimes I just get banged in the head with a bag of groceries
for my effort.
I take my job seriously. I never miss when they come home.
Always there, always loyal. Dependable. What does the new guy
do? He just makes a lot of noise, but at all the wrong times.
Theres no one prowling around or at the door when he starts crying.
Usually he wakes me up when Im having a great dream about snagging the
whole roast turkey off the counter or maybe finally catching that annoying
gray cat. Sometimes he just wont shut up, but do they yell at
him? No, and you wont believe this but they reward him by giving
him a treat! And its not like he ever has anything to say.
He just makes noise, nothing of consequence. When I have something
to say, they usually tell me to be quiet.
I dont understand it. He gets to lay on the bed, but I dont.
When he gets a bath, they dont throw him outside for half the day while
he dries off. Hes allowed to play with my toys, but if I dare to
even look at one of his stuffed animals, they give me The Look. When
I do get to go for a ride, I have to sit in the back while he gets a real
seat. And I have never seen them rub his nose in the carpet.
It just isnt fair. Things were great before he came along.
I used to go to the park almost every day. We used to play more.
Now Im more or less time sitting on the couch watching them feed him.
Ive spent months watching them, trying to understand their fascination
with him. He doesnt really do anything. Oh, and I cant
stand it when they try to lay him on my back or carry him around while
chasing me. He pulls my hair and his fingers go in my eyes. I
try to explain how I feel to him, but he just laughs at me. He has no
respect for me.
I wish he would just disappear. I wish my life were back to normal.