10 Sure-Fire Ways to Get Excommunicated

#10: Learn to recite the Lord's Prayer backwards.

#9: Refuse to accept the Eucharist -- bread transfigured into Jesus' actual body -- because you're vegetarian.

#8: Dress up your daughter as Lilith for Halloween.

#7: Give up going to church for Lent.

#6: Ask your priest questions like, "What happens to a baby that dies in a car accident on the way to its baptism?  Does it spend eternity in limbo/hell with all the other unbaptized babies?"

#5: Refuse to practice the Rhythm Method on the grounds that it's morally reprehensible.

#4: Laugh during mass or confession.

#3: Have WWJD tattooed on your genitals.

#2: Save time and effort: excommunicate yourself

And the number one way to get yourself excommunicated…

#1: Read the bible, religiously.