The
Memo From Heaven to Hell on the Unexcommunication of Galileo
Translated
from the Latin
To
Our Most Unholy Lucifer,
Certainly
you have heard the rumors of Our Church's edict lifting the
excommunication of Galileo. They are true.
After
waiting several hundred years for Galileo to seek absolution, Our Church
has decided to act on its own initiative and reconsider his case.
Part of the challenge of vindicating Galileo has been the edict that an
excomm can introduce no legal action before the ecclesiastical tribune;
thus, Galileo has been forbidden to testify on his own behalf.
Equally challenging is the mandate that the faithful cannot interact with
excomms on spiritual matters – even towards reconciliation – under
pain of mortal sin. In any case, Galileo has been dead for the
majority of the investigation, a nearly-insurmountable hurdle for any
organization that forbids calling forth the dead.
We
do find it interesting just how generally misunderstood excommunication
is. It was created not for the purpose of censoring loud, abrasive
enemies of Our Church – you have not been excommunicated, have you? –
nor for punishing priests who teach heresy despite continued admonition
from Our Church. (Don't worry; you'll have Martin Luther with you
for some time yet. The Excomm Review Board is waiting until the
Lutherans finally give up their damned foolishness and sheepishly reunite
with Rome.) Rather, Our Church quite clearly teaches that
excommunication is for the sake of the excomms, and that the only real
consideration is their welfare. Thus, to speed their rehabilitation they
are cut off from the soul-healing sacraments, especially that most
efficacious of Graces, the Eucharist, in which only those without sin may
participate. Obviously they could not learn from the saintly example of
their betters and spiritual leaders; perhaps the damned and abandoned of
the Earth can succeed with these lost sheep where Our Church has failed.
It
is commonly believed that Galileo was excommunicated for his heresy of
planetary theory. This was but the slightest of his infractions.
Galileo did not have faith in the planetary system model; he proved it.
However, he lived in an age where faith, quite frankly, was all the
faithful had. For one cannot have faith in something one can prove:
faith is belief even in the face of proof to the contrary. (This is
the reason We do not prove Our existence, for then where would be faith?)
Unfortunately, while the planetary facts were close enough to accurate,
others of the ideas upon which he chose to expound were pathetic and
obviously in error. There were many who believed all he said because
a morsel of it was true. In this his voice was in competition with
Our own priests. The faithful can be so fickle and sometimes need to
be protected from themselves.
Galileo's
greatest error lie in that he worked hardest against those trying to help
him most. He refused to accept that perhaps the Church was not ready
to face that it was not the center of the universe around which all the
Saints and Ourself revolved. He cared for the truth too much for his
own good, refusing to remain silent after repeated warnings.
Finally, he was like a small child in his faith: loud, obnoxious, and
unreasonable to the point of requiring saintly patience. While tact
may not be one of the Seven Heavenly Virtues, lacking it in the quantities
Galileo did can eventually lead to excommunication.[1]
Was
Galileo unjustly excommunicated? Such a question is hardly worth
asking, considering that whatever Our One True Church chooses to hold
bound on Earth, We are bound to hold in Heaven. The Philosopher[2]
also covered Our Church by proving that the victim of an unjust
excommunication should bear it with grace. Excommunication, just or
unjust, is after all for the good of the excomm and in both cases helps
build character. We hope that Galileo has borne his sourjorn with
you with dignity, humility, and gratitude, and no apologies are necessary
when you release him to our care.
We
suspect there may be other unexcommunications in the near future, but
perhaps not since the majority of condemned souls don't have quite the
legal resources or high profile of a figure such as Galileo.
Considering it took several hundred years to clear his name, only We know
how long a forgotten soul with no earthly champion will have to endure
your charms while awaiting reconciliation.
Admittedly,
Our Church may have left Galileo with you a tad longer than necessary, but
no real harm done. Time with you is like polishing brass; the longer
the scouring, the brighter the result.
I
AM
[1]
To see one justification of Galileo's excommunication because of his
damnable lack of tact, visit www.catholic.net/RCC/Periodicals/Issues/GalileoAffair.html.
[2]
God is referring to St. Thomas Aquinas and his Summa Theologica.
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